Category Archives: Success Mindset

Grow Business Confidence: Lessons From a 5-Yr-Old

I am like most parents who look at their children, and are awestruck by the way they confidently walk (or in our son’s case, RUN) through the world. And recently, watching him in the deep end, realize he has many lessons business owners can learn about how to grow their confidence and attain their goals more effectively.

My five year old son – oh, I’m reminded, he’s five and A HALF! – FINALLY got to realize his dream from last summer: to jump off the high dive. AND, yesterday, he learned to dive.

THE 10-FOOT DROP

Last summer and periodically throughout the winter, he reminded me that he was going to be old enough to jump off the high dive this summer. Mind you, this board is 10-feet high (!) so last summer, despite his confidence, I was too fearful to have my 4-year-old jump off of that high dive and simply said “not this year.”
This summer, I knew he was going to be unstoppable.

The first weekend the pool opened, we were there. Jacob went straight to the high dive and lined up behind kids that were head and shoulders taller than he was. The first time, he walked slowly to the edge of the board, 10-feet above the pool, and without too much hesitation, jumped off. Several jumps later, he was running to the end of the board, jumping and landing do he would spring into the air and “fly” for a few moments before landing in the water.

Now, every chance he gets, he asks to go swimming so he can jump off the high dive.
(As a side note, in some conversation he heard the word “thrill-seeker” and asked what it meant. After I described it, he said “That’s what I am.” Oh boy, it’s going to be a fun ride!)

THE DIVE

Yesterday, while he was jumping off the boards, I was having fun too and practiced diving off the low board. He asked me to teach him. So I told him where to “glue” his chin, arms, and hands… where to aim… showed him what it looked like… and he did the rest!

He started at water level and easily dove in. He seemed to be pleasantly surprised and proud of himself, as he should be… That bolstered his confidence and he felt ready to do the same thing off the low diving board, but when he tried, his feet wanted to leave the board too soon, and so it became a “dive jump.” He tried a couple more times, and then went back to having fun jumping off both the high and low dive.

Today, he begged me to go to the pool again, and we returned for an after-dinner swim…
After some high dive jumps, he practiced diving off the ledge at water level.
I praised him for diving so well and suggested he try it at the ground level, which was about 6 inches higher. After a couple adjustments to his aim, and allowing himself to lead with his hands, he got it!

I was looking at my phone, preparing to record a video of his ground level dive and when I looked up, he was in the middle of his first dive off the low board! Executed wonderfully!

In a two day period, I watched him develop the skills and confidence to dive off the board and thought about what it took for him to do that… and how developing his jumping and diving skills relate to succeeding in business…

BUSINESS LESSONS FROM THE DEEP END: Tips to Grow Confidence and Attain Your Goals More Quickly

1) Envision yourself accomplishing goals and rehearse it in your mind.
Jacob saw himself jumping off the high dive for almost a year.
He studied the “big” boys and girls (and adults) as they took the 10-foot drop. He told me repeatedly that he was going to jump off the high dive this year.
By the time I gave him the green light to try, he had no doubt in his mind that it would become his reality.
He had been thinking about it and replaying it in his mind, so that when he had the opportunity, he was completely prepared to “jump with both feet in.” (pun intended)
Do the same with business (or personal) goals – and you will find yourself reaching those goals more efficiently with fewer roadblocks and increased ease.

2) Get guidance to shorten the learning curve.
He was developing this new diving skill … and after learning a few tips to turn a “dive jump” into a true dive, it clicked and he was able to apply that knowledge and quickly and confidently develop the skill.
You can shorten the learning curve by finding the guidance you need.

3) Be persistent and keep practicing.
It’s refreshing to see our son continue practicing a skill, such as diving, and not judging himself when it doesn’t go as planned. When that happened a couple times, I suggested he think about letting his hands touch the water first and his feet touch the water last. He took those tips and kept practicing.
After several repetitions, he felt more confident and was ready to take those skills to the next level – the diving board.
As you practice skills in your business, make micro-adjustments along the way. Observe the results, and keep practicing. As you do this, your confidence will grow and the new skills will feel more natural and familiar. With familiarity, you will feel more confident and more ready to stretch yourself.

4) Stretch yourself for increased growth.
Instead of staying in your comfort zone, find out what might stretch you to move to a higher level of challenge in your business. With higher challenge often comes greater reward.
Also, realize that the stretch usually doesn’t require completely new skills.
Jacob’s dive off the board incorporated the same skills he used to dive from the water level. He was confident in using those skills. It just took a little more courage to use the same skills three feet off the ground.

5) Believe in yourself.
It’s so wonderful to see such confidence in my son.
He didn’t “psych himself out” before trying to dive off the board. He just went up and did it.
Sometimes, it can be that simple. Practice saying to yourself, “I can do this.” And then, take a deep breath, and just do it.

6) Get support and celebrate successes along the way:
“Did you see that, Mommy!?”
“Watch this, Mommy…”
“That was fun!”
“I did it!”
These are some of the things Jacob said when he wanted to share his recent jumping and diving accomplishments.
When you go through your business day, try using some version of these phrases that easily flow out of children’s mouths and you will experience your own confidence beginning to soar. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way with supportive people: “Listen to this!” Enjoy the process: “That was fun!.” Get praise from others. “Did you see what I just did?” Congratulate yourself for the milestones you reach, and even the landmarks along the way. “I did it!”

These lessons my son revealed from jumping and diving into the deep end can more easily become a reality in your business through success coaching. If you want to learn more about how, click here to see if you qualify for a complimentary strategy session.

Key #5 Think Outside The Box

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved 
at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
- Albert Einstein

Now that the fourth key to increased profits and increased fun has primed your mind for success using PowerScripts, you will be much more able to brainstorm and think outside of the box about strategic steps you can take to begin your journey to the moon. It would be most helpful to ask 2 or 3 of your most creative, optimistic friends or colleagues to brainstorm with you.

The fifth key to more profits and a healthier work-life balance is being able to Think Outside of The Box in at least a couple ways. You are going to get to the root of the mental pollution that has been blocking you and really focus on steps you can take to clean it up.

PUT PEN TO PAPER

Write each belief that you think may have been preventing you from reaching peak profits and/or work-life balance in the center of one sheet of paper. If you had ten beliefs that have been blocking you, then you will need ten sheets of paper.

The purpose of Thinking Outside the Box with this type of brainstorm is to come up with strategies, both thought-based and action-based, that will help you
1) overcome that specific piece of mental pollution and associated behaviors
2) complement your PowerScripts; and
3) propel you to action that will not only reinforce your PowerScripts but also help to create your new reality.

HOW TO MINDMAP


As you Think Outside The Box, let each different thought stem outward from that center belief. If another idea surfaces, then create another stem from that center belief. If you have additional details to add to that thought, you can add stems off of that thought (see the image below for an example). As you brainstorm, your paper will start to look like a complicated compound from your high school chemistry class! This mind mapping method can be quite useful as it is non-linear and allows the more creative, right side of your brain to take over. Plus, you can organize thoughts and actions based on clusters that emerge on the page.

A great online resource for mind mapping on your computer is: Mindmeister.
You don’t need a computer though… and sometimes an old fashioned piece of paper with different colors can be quite fun!

SAMPLE MINDMAP


Click here for an example of what Thinking Outside The Box might look like for the following mental pollution: 
“People won’t want to pay for my services.”

Notice how you can look at the mental pollution from several perspectives with several ways to clean it up and move forward into a reality that reflects your PowerScript.

REMEMBER
* Be sure that each page has a PowerScript to replace the mental pollution. 
* Then identify why you are thinking this way and/or how you can provide evidence for your PowerScript. 
* Be sure to include Action ideas for each element of your brainstorm.
Now it’s your turn. Start Thinking Outside of the Box to clean up your mental pollution and generate action steps that support your new PowerScript.

Click here if you want more training on how PowerScripting and Thinking Outside the Box can help you achieve your business and life goals.

Stay tuned, in the final step, you’ll discover how to put it all together and how to avoid common obstacles to taking action!

To your success and balance!
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Key #4 PowerScript for Success

“The mind has been likened to 
a piece of paper that has been folded.
Ever afterwards it has a tendency to fold in the same crease–
unless we make a new crease or fold, 
when it will follow the last lines.” 
~William Walker Atkinson

With the 3rd key to making more money and still having PLENTY of time for family, health, and fun, you figured out what your mental blocks are. I call it “Mental Pollution,” because it is toxic to you and is probably the biggest reason you haven’t yet attained peak profits or your ideal work-life balance. In most cases, the mental pollution has been sitting there, fermenting, for many years if not decades.

POWERSCRIPTING


To clean up the pollution, you need the 4th key to success in business and life: PowerScripting. When you PowerScript, you re-wire your old, self-defeating thought patterns and create new neural pathways in your brain. Or as Atkinson described in the quote above, PowerScripting is like creating new creases and folds for the paper to follow. This process is a critical component of your “Inner Game” of success.

BE BRAD PITT OR SANDRA BULLOCK

If you think about actors and actresses in a movie, you understand that when they get cast in a new role they begin with a brand new script. At first, they’re just trying to get a sense of the character they are portraying and have to initially focus on just learning their lines. After repetition, repetition, and more repetition, their lines come naturally and they can begin to focus on authenticity and delivery. At that point, they also are able to magically transform themselves into their character…with unique mannerisms, ways of speaking, ways of walking, facial expressions, etc…

REHEARSE YOUR LINES

A similar process happens with PowerScripting. You have to start by learning your lines, and repeating them over and over. When you begin this process, you may initially feel like the scripts aren’t your own, because they’re unfamiliar. Many people push-back on this point and say they can’t PowerScript because it feels untrue. As a result, they end up hearing the familiar mental pollution, which DOES feel true, but keeps them mired in the toxicity. Which path would you rather take? The initially uncomfortable and unfamiliar path?  Or the familiar yet toxic path?

TOXIC WASTE CLEAN UP


With repetition, your mindset will begin to change. If you constantly clean up your mental pollution by PowerScripting, eventually, you will change your entire mental landscape into a green, healthy, life-giving environment.

THREE SIMPLE STEPS to POWERSCRIPTING

First, you want to identify the mental pollution in the form of present-tense sentences, such as “I am not good enough.” Make a list of all the pollution that is standing in your way. 
Second, you need to create an alternative PowerScript to replace each piece of pollution. For example, “I am talented and have great value.”  
Third, you need to repeat each PowerScript at least once a day, if not two or three.

Here are some tips to make the most of your PowerScripts:

Write down each PowerScript, and write it in the present tense, even if it’s describing some future state that hasn’t yet manifested in your life 
 Focus on your unique talents and positive traits (i.e., persistent, kind, intelligent, worthy, creative).

Post your PowerScripts in your office, bathroom, or anywhere you will be reminded to rehearse the scripts. 
 Declare your PowerScripts out loud (just as an actress rehearses lines out loud) and in the mirror if you are willing 
 After you state your PowerScript, convert it to a question, as Noah St. John recommends with his “Afformations.”

For example: 
State your PowerScript: “I am talented and have great value.” Then convert it into a question: “Why do I have so much talent and great value?” 
Don’t try to answer the question. Just asking the question will set your subconscious to work on answering it.

Now, off you go… rehearse your lines!

If you want additional help understanding PowerScripts, watch this 5-minute video and learn about PowerScripting in greater detail.

Stay tuned, next time we’ll focus on a creative way to launch yourself into taking strategic action.

To your success and balance!
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Key #3 Bridge the GAP

“The vast majority of people are born, grow up, struggle, and go through life in misery and failure, not realizing that it would be just as easy to switch over and get exactly what they want out of life, not recognizing that the 
mind attracts the thing it dwells upon.”
 ~Napoleon Hill

To review, the first key to increased profits AND a joyful and fulfilling work-life balance requires you to look in the mirror at your life and business as they are now. With the second key, you need to shoot for the moon and became clear about the life and business you are seeking. The third key enables you to figure out what underlying factors may be standing in the way of you living your ideal business and personal life.

THE BLAME GAME

As a psychologist, I have learned the theory, but more powerfully, have witnessed the amazing capacity our minds have to contribute to success (or stagnation, or in some cases, decline). Most people look for external reasons (aka, excuses) that they have not yet attained their goals. It’s easier to blame something outside of ourselves or out of our control, after all. So while that external blaming occurs and excuses are made, our internal blocks remain the hidden yet more powerful reasons for failure or lack of movement.

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL…

To bridge the gap between what you see in the mirror and what is ideal … it is ESSENTIAL that you look at what is happening with all the grey matter in the 6-inches between your ears! This is the step that is often overlooked or avoided. Similar to looking in the mirror, this involves looking within to understand what underlying beliefs are probably contributing to your current situation.

TIME TO COME CLEAN:

I hear many different reasons for why someone is not living the work-life balance they want to live or not earning the income they want. As I list them here, be sure to check off or highlight which reasons resonate with you:

1) Limiting beliefs about money
•    I can’t afford to work fewer hours
•    I can’t afford to hire someone to free up more time

2) Limiting beliefs about time
•    I have too much to do.
•    I don’t have enough time.

3) Limiting beliefs about energy
•    I don’t have enough energy.
•    The only way to succeed is by working really hard.

4) Self-defeating attitude (can become a self-fulfilling prophecy)
•    They won’t want to work with me
•    I’m not good enough
•    I can never get a break
•    My business ventures always fail
•    I can never seem to make more than $XXX in a year
•    Something bad always follows something good

5) FEAR

a.    Of failure
◦    I tried before, and know it won’t work this time either
◦    I’m a realist.  (i.e.,  “This is probably going to fail like all the other ventures I pursued.”)
◦    It’s not worth the effort
b.    Of rejection
◦    I don’t have the support
◦    I can’t say “no”
c.    Of looking like a fool (wounding my ego)
◦    I don’t know how
◦    I’m not an expert or don’t have the training
d.    Of success
◦    I don’t want to be viewed as selfish or greedy
e.    Of conflict
◦    Other people’s needs always come first
f.    Of the unknown (or change)
◦    I don’t deserve a better life

NOW WHAT?!?

Assuming you are human and not some robot or alien, you will have a variation of at least one mental block mentioned above, and probably several. The goal is not to eliminate all these thoughts…because most of us have our moments when thoughts such as those listed above become prominent. And many of us have these thoughts running in the background, almost like “muzak of our minds.” Just like muzak in a department store, you stop noticing it after a while. To change the tune of your own mental muzak, the KEY is awareness. By just noticing those thoughts then quickly letting them fade into the background, you can then focus on a more proactive and healthy thought which can take its place. You are literally changing the channel, and have the power to do so.

YOU DO HAVE THE POWER


Trust me, you DO have the power to change the channel. When you are aware of what your internal blocks are, you can give them less power by just naming them as nothing more than a thought (rather than a reality). Then, you have the power to change them and they will no longer be the invisible hurdles you have been stumbling over.

Click here for training on how to overcome internal blocks so you can design your work around your life!

Stay tuned, next time you’ll get more specific directions about how to change the “Muzak of your mind.”

To your success and balance!
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